Fire Crotch
by Satu-Ryuu
Summary: "If his crotch is on fire, then shouldn't he stop drop and roll or pour water on it or something?" "May we please talk about something other then my private regions?" Picking up a six year old has never been more embarrassing for our favorite Red Head.


Ohiyo! This is the first YYH fic I've written and it's meant to be a little on the silly side. I may eventually write a full story, but that depends on if anyone actually wants me to. Ummm so it maybe a little ooc. For that I'm sorry!

Anyway. I own nothing other then Nyan and Kimiko. The rest belongs to the lucky bastards that made YYH. I wish they would sell it to me. . .

~~~~~~~~~~~~ Story Start~~~~~~~~~~~

Outside the front gate of a local elementary school, a group of four average looking high school students stood waiting. If you lived under a rock they would appear normal to you that is. Yusuke Urameshi was the most notable. His slicked back black hair and usual green uniform made him stand out from the group, though honestly he looked more normal then the others. Kazuma Kuwabara wore the blue version of Yusuke's uniform and was rather like an ape with orange hair. He wasn't a bad guy nor was he that ugly, he just happened to resemble an ape according to the only female of this group who had said this with all the love and respect in the world while Hiei agreed immediately. Next was the elegant boy who was the man many girls dreamed of, he wore an ugly pink school uniform. This elegant boy was Suichi, or Kurama. It depended on who you were as to what you called him. Wearing the girl version of Kurama's uniform stood a girl with golden orange hair. This was Nyan, a human gifted with an ability called charming. This ability worked on all living things, it allowed her to influence humans and demons that were at the same level or stronger then her, but it allowed her to control those that were weaker by making a contract with them. Once the contract was made the two would grow more and more compatible making them stronger individually and as a team. She only had three at the moment, but she had had them all for five or more years. Because of this ability, Nyan had grown up being a rather unintentionally provocative girl, since her influence would only work through words and touches. She had a bizarre outlook on life and everything around her, leading her to pretty much not give a damn about anyone or anything. She would do anything if it sounded like fun. Which is how she met Kurama.

Nyan had been happily reading her book when her friend came up and dared her to do an extremely provocative dance for Suichi. She had to end it by kissing him and she had to sing a very inappropriate song while she danced. So Nyan blared her music and did a very provocative routine which included lots of hip movement and ended with Nyan straddling Kurama while he sat in his seat as she practically gave the poor startled and confused red head a lap dance. The girls who had watched were screaming at her after the whole ordeal was over. Nyan had oddly felt an electric shock of sorts when she had kissed him, but she stored it in her mind for later. Some girls even went to say that it wasn't Nyan's fault she behaved like that since she had a whore for a mother. While Nyan's mother is in fact a stripper and did teach Nyan how to do all kinds of things mother shouldn't teach their daughters, Nyan still felt that no one had the right to insult her mother. So she broke a perfect nose and blacked an overly make-up-ed eye. No big deal.

But back to the point, this group was out here waiting for Nyan's little sister, Kimiko, who at this moment was running toward them smiling.

"S'up, Pup?" Pup, a nick name that no one in the group knew why it had started.

"How was school, Kimiko?" Kimiko looked at Kurama and smiled.

"I learned lots today!" Kurama and Nyan were the only ones that were really listening. Yusuke and Kuwabara were fighting again.

"Oh? And what did you learn?" Kimiko stopped walking after Kurama's question. Nyan stopped a few feet in front of her by Kurama, Yusuke and Kuwabara stopped a few feet behind Kimiko.

"Kimiko? What's wrong?" Nyan had squatted down to eye level with her sister.

"Nothing's wrong!" She gave a big bright smile. "I learned that Suichi's a fire crotch!"

All went silent.

Yusuke and Kuwabara hit the ground laughing.

Kurama scratched the back of his head and did a nervous/awkward laugh as the corners of his lips twitched.

Nyan looked from Kurama's hair to groin then back. She paused in her glance at his groin for a few minutes before turning back to Kimiko. Kurama's nervous laugh stopped and a slight dazed/embarrassed look covered his face after seeing Nyan looking below his belt. He wasn't expecting her to have done that.

"That isn't definite, Pup." Nyan had stood taking Kimiko's hand and started the walking again. The rest of them followed not wanting to miss any chance to pick on the poor fire crotch to the left of Kimiko.

"But my friends said that if they have red hair then they're a fire crotch!" Nyan's mouth kept twitching, it was hard for her to be serious. Yusuke and Kuwabara laughed harder while poor Kurama looked like he wanted to disappear.

"It could be dyed."

"Then check!" Nyan tripped over her own feet and Kurama looked miserable.

"Yeah, Nyan. You should check to see if red is his natural color." Yusuke was well aware of Nyan's affection towards Kurama and it appeared he wasn't going to let any chance slip bye.

"I would really rather not."

"AW! C'mon! You know you want to Nyan!" Her face was brighter then Kurama's hair. Kimiko was looking back and forth between everyone innocent to what was going on. "You told Kieko you had a wet dream about Kurama, So you must be dieing to know!" Kurama looked over at Nyan, his eyes wide while he blinked stupidly. Nyan on the other hand went from embarrassed to murderous in a few short seconds.

Her electric blue eyes turned black, edge to edge, and from her eyes tribal marks extended, no further then a half an inch from the top bottom and outer edge of her eyes. She glared at Yusuke, a empty look that showed no hint to his gruesome fate.

"Now, Please, Let's just calm down." Now the fire crotch had had enough. He really didn't want to have to explain to Keiko why Yusuke was missing limbs.

"Shut up, Fire Crotch!" Nyan had growled at him as she advanced on Yusuke.

"But I have a question?" Kimiko had raised her hand like she was still in school. When every eye was on her she continued, " If his crotch is on fire then shouldn't he stop drop and roll or pour water on it or something?"

"Uh. Kimiko, It doesn't mean his crotch is literally on fire. It means he has red pubic hair." Nyan from sheer shock of Kimiko's question had calmed down.

"Okay, but uh. . . .What's pubic hair?" Everyone just stood there looking more then confused. How do you tell a six year old what pubic hair is. Kurama just looked like he wanted them all to go away. Bet his nether regions have never been talked about this much. With him listening that is.

"It's . . . just. . . .body hair that . . . .you get when . . .you're older. . ." Nyan looked like she wanted to run away. She may have been a flirt and a tease, but she didn't give 'the talk' very well and she really hoped she wouldn't have to do it now.

"So it's like . . . . A mustache!" They all couldn't help but imagine that and they all couldn't hold back their laughs. Except for Kurama, who was thoroughly irritated with the whole thing.

"Nice Kurama. You must be one hell of a man!" Yusuke's comment was the last straw.

"May we please discuss something other then my private regions?" He looked embarrassed and annoyed.

"But it's so much fun!" Nyan snorted, while Kurama sighed at Yusuke's comment.

"I'm late and I must get home to mother." He turned and left quickly.

"Wait! Kurama! I live next door, so wait for me!" Nyan grabbed Kimiko's hand and pulled her after Kurama. "Jeez, who lit your crotch on fire?" Kurama proceeded to walk faster. Nyan had to run to keep up with him, Yusuke and Kuwabara's laughter faded quickly. "Slow down damn it! We were only joking! Besides, you know like when I talk about your crotch!" Nyan lost sight of him. She needed to get faster or she would never manage to keep up with the whole team. "Where'd he go?"

"Maybe he went to put the fire out?" Kimiko was so cute sometimes.

What they didn't know was that Kurama didn't enjoy the conversation in the slightest though he couldn't help but get a little enjoyment at the way Nyan's eyes had raked over him or hearing that she had dreamed about him. With a sly smile he continued his walk home.


End file.
